March 26
I got a loser letter today…. my Very Good Book on How To Write assures me that I should make friends with my rejection letters as I will see a lot of them, therefore developing a ‘coping strategy’ is vital.
To that I say “What the * ever.”
Ironically, of course, this is exactly what ED counsellors say is the issue for those of us with food….well, issues.
Coping strategies.
We use (and God help me I will be using WE today as I feel like the Univerese is waaay big & I am waaaay nothin’ in the middle of it) the comfort of food (or the chaste control of starvation, or the violent, angry release of vomitting) to express ourselves, to numb or cover up our feelings.
Some of us have done it for so long we have such great excuses for not stopping. We’re OK, everyone does it (read Bridget Jones if you don’t believe me!)
We hardly even notice what we are doing. One minute we’re bummed because our short story was so crapola, three other housewives bet us out for a lowly prize in a shit town competition (not that I’m a sore loser or anything…..especially when I win) the next we are in the supermarket, thinking only of laundry detergent, but lo and behold! When we get home there is enough chocolate and chips in the carrier bags for a small nation of big eaters.
Or, suddenly, today is the day to buy the Easter Eggs. (Most of them will have to be replaced by Easter Sunday, but oh well, who will know?)
The voice in the back of my head that tells me it’s counter productive, self abusive, just plain stupid, is just too small.